


Still Fading

by marimoes



Series: Promptober 2019 [3]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Anxiety, Coping, Gen, Nightmares, Set post Water 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 18:33:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20878784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marimoes/pseuds/marimoes
Summary: Sanji struggles with nightmares about his past and worries about how they will affect his future with the Strawhats.





	Still Fading

**Author's Note:**

> Day 3: Burn
> 
> The second of 31 short prompts for the month of October. To see the full list go [here!](https://noswordstyle.tumblr.com/post/187741793157/as-mentioned-earlier-this-month-im-doing-a)

It’s black. 

Everywhere is black, and when Sanji breathes his lungs fill with a thick smoke. One that is far heavier than that of his cigarette. It tangles in his body, pushing and pulling his lungs until they deprive of air. 

Burning. Searing. 

He hears screaming in the distance. 

High whining along with it, and it makes him grasp at the air around him, praying he lands on something. A door, a window, a light, _ anything _ to help him. 

Nothing is found. Only more darkness. 

_ You couldn’t help them. You couldn’t help her. You’re nothing. You’re a waste of my blood. _

Gasping out, Sanji struggles to slow his breathing, but this time the air is clear. There is no smoke this time, only the normal sea air that he’s used to. It’s clean scent far more gentle on his body. 

The room is still dark, but nowhere near the black he saw a moment ago. Blinking a moment he tries to focus—he’s in the kitchen. 

The moonlight gleams off each of the pots and pans hung above the stove, and they sway with the rocking of the ship. Their soft clink an odd melody to his ears, one that pulls him further from the anxiety that’s left his neck drenched in sweat. 

As much as he wants to go below and sleep in his hammock, he can’t. 

His body is still on fire. A painful stirring with each breath, and Sanji knows he needs something more than sleep. Boards creaking beneath him, he stands and eyes the door, his cigarettes itching in his breast pocket. 

For a dream full of smoke so thick he couldn’t breathe—the only thing on his mind right now is a light. The irony of which is not lost on the chef for even a moment. 

Once on the deck, he lights it quickly, placing it comfortably into the crook of his mouth. He doesn’t inhale at first. Only holds it there while his eyes continue to focus out on the sea in front of him. Deep blue pushed up to soft white peaks, not unlike the meringue he makes most days. 

Delicate and light, so easy to break. 

Pulling in a deep breath, he takes a drag of the cigarette and the familiar burn lingers in his mouth. It travels to his lungs, scrambling his emotions, all before he pushes them out with his exhale. 

The ship lurches to the side quickly and he jumps from surprise, leaving his fresh cigarette to fall into the ocean below. Swallowed up in an instant beneath the waves. 

“A waste.” Sanji murmurs and the words from his dream ring a little louder in his ears, causing him to wince, “I’m a waste.” 

“I’d say different, Sanji.” 

Sanji turns to see Robin softly approaching. Her face held with a soft, almost sad, look on it. She leans against the railing and looks out to the ocean; eyes searching for something Sanji isn’t sure of. 

Then again, searching is what drew most of them out onto the ocean, Sanji figures. 

“Well, you don’t know me that well.” Sanji sighs and her attention turns back to him, “I’m sure I don’t know you well, either, Robin-chan.”

Robin lifts her eyebrows in surprise. Sanji’s tone is far calmer and less extravagant than usual, and the change nearly has her wondering if there is a double in her midst. But no, noting the anxious twitch of the chef’s hands, she knows she has the right one. 

“I suppose you’re right. Though, I’m not sure my past matters much anymore. I’d rather look toward a future—wouldn’t you?” She asks, placing her head into her head against the railing, “With Luffy, I’m not sure if there is anything you can do that I haven’t already done worse.” 

Sanji turns to her, mouth agape, but it’s quickly shut with Robin’s hand formed onto his face. Her delicate fingers pressing his lips together. She shakes her head softly, a smile following it, and when Sanji blinks the hand is gone. 

All the words he was about to say now sit restless in his stomach. He wants to argue, let her know that everything is fine, but somehow, he knows she already knows this. 

So, instead, he pulls out another cigarette and lights it. 

A deep breath in, and this time it gives him the relief he craved earlier. He blows out the soft cloud into the open air, and the remnants seem to mix with the clouds above them. She’s right, Sanji knows this, but he can’t help but to wonder. 

To think about where they are. What trouble they may cause his family. 

“Sanij,” Robin whispers, and again he feels her hand on his face. Though this time it’s not her power, it’s her own, and she’s pushing back his hair. 

He nearly stops her. Every urge in him telling him to strike her away, but he doesn’t. Instead, he stands still as she reveals both of his eyes beneath the moonlight. A secret now told only to her and the sea. 

Her eyes meet his, two crew mates, never fully seeing the other until now. 

“You’re an old soul, Sanji. You’ve seen so many lifetimes, I can feel it. You’ve seen war and you’ve seen love.” Robin murmurs, stroking the side of his face, “But this life...this life is going to be _extraordinary_.” 

With that she drops his hair and walks back toward her quarters without another word. Sanji’s words, too, are gone. Lost in the distance between them; floating aimlessly in his mind while he processes what she said. 

He takes another drag of his cigarette in and puts it out against his heel. In his exhale, he feels the exhaustion sink back into his bones. His fears aren’t gone, no, they still linger. 

Though something else is now heavy in his heart, warm and assuring, the rest is still fading. 

  


**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: @noswordstyle  
Twitter: @__moes__


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